Welcome to this journey. We invite you to pause, notice, and gently try out new practices. The intention is not to fix yourself, but to create space for restoration and growth. The third topic in this series is Social Connection.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is the longest running longitudinal study of happiness and wellbeing in the world. Beginning in 1938, it has followed the intergenerational lives of over 1,300 people to understand what helps us live healthy, meaningful, and satisfying lives. After more than eight decades of research, the conclusion is remarkably clear:

Close, supportive relationships—more than money, fame, social class, IQ, or genetics—are the strongest predictor of long term happiness and health.

This finding holds true across socioeconomic backgrounds, suggesting that meaningful connection can buffer the effects of stress, adversity, and hardship. And yet, in our current cultural moment, forming and maintaining close relationships is not always easy.

I remember moving from the rural Eastern Cape to Johannesburg and experiencing significant culture shock. In the small hospital community where I lived, spontaneous connection was part of everyday life—an impromptu beach swim with friends was usually just one text message away. In Johannesburg, I quickly learned that social plans often required weeks of notice, and busy schedules were the norm. At the time, I was just as overloaded—working fulltime and studying parttime—and building new relationships felt surprisingly hard.

Long commutes, demanding work hours, financial pressure, families spread across the globe, safety concerns that keep us behind walls and fences, and lives increasingly lived in front of screens have all contributed to a more disconnected way of living.

From a trauma informed perspective, it’s also important to acknowledge that many people carry relational wounds. If connection has felt unsafe, disappointing, or exhausting in the past, reaching out may feel risky rather than comforting. Still, regardless of whether you see yourself as an introvert or an extrovert, we all need a small handful of relationships that feel supportive and trustworthy. Not many—just a few. Here are some gentle ways to reflect on and strengthen social connection:

1. Notice your current support network

Take a moment to reflect:

• Who do you turn to after a hard day, or when you need advice?
• Who feels safe enough to be honest with?
• Who do you live with, and what is the quality of those relationships?

Writing these names down can help make your support network more visible.

2. Consider whether new connections might be needed

If your list feels very short, you might gently explore opportunities for connection. For me, being part of a church in new places has helped. For others, it might be a book club, sports team, walking group, volunteering, or even an online community of shared interest. There is no single right way—what matters is finding spaces that feel manageable and aligned with who you are.

3. Create space for quality time

Connection usually needs intention. This might look like a weekly phone call, a regular coffee date, or choosing to eat dinner at the table rather than in front of the TV. Even small shifts—taking lunch in the cafeteria instead of at your desk—can make a difference.

Relationships can be messy and require energy, patience, and repair. But they are not a luxury—they are a key pillar of our health and wellbeing. Connection doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Often, consistency and presence matter far more than doing it “right.”

Closing Thought

We would love to hear from you! If you have any questions, or if you’d like to share your own journey of nourishment and restoration, please reach out to us via our website, WhatsApp, phone call or email.

Wishing you all the best on your journey of healing.